


Uncertainties

by yourscutie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Main OT5 dreamies, Mild Hurt/Comfort, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Overthinking, first fic so please don't expect, just dreamies supporting each other, mentioned markhyuck - Freeform, mentions of stress and anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourscutie/pseuds/yourscutie
Summary: “jaemin, do you think we are not enough?”“what do you mean?”or a failed attempt of doing an angst oneshot in which the dream members are huddled together in the dorm to talk about the things that are bothering them these days.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Uncertainties

**Author's Note:**

> please don’t take this seriously! this is just made out of pure imagination, late night thoughts added with the things i read on twitter. this is also my failed attempt in doing angst lol. so, if you don’t feel like reading this, please refrain from doing so. i don’t wanna waste your time reading some amateur’s work. thank you~

renjun knew. he knew that the company was really not taking all of them seriously, especially the 5 of them. they were just five teenagers that were deemed as ready to debut but cannot really find the right unit or concept to put them into and just used their young age to form a group.

however, to the five of them, it was still a blessing, and they all gave a lot of time and effort for this to finally happen, so if sm will really put it that way, they really won’t have anything to say to it but to be just thankful. afterall, who wouldn’t want to debut right?

these thoughts had been hunting him again ever since they had their latest and the most successful comeback this month that gained half a million pre-orders after its release. they also broke a lot of records and gained a lot of recognition across the world.

unfortunately, they all had a very cramped up schedule because of the limited time that the company gave them to promote.

they even had to do an online concert instead of promoting, which he thought was also a good way to promote their new album but still not enough just like in music show appearances and the fact that their hyungs will also have another comeback for their repack album.

everything was just overlapping, and haechan was somehow overworked too and renjun felt like their team’s not gonna stand out because of that and somehow, it happened.

jaemin had been closely observing renjun everytime the chinese dj was at their dorm. he was not the usual renjun that they all knew these days, who will make unfunny jokes or even talk about the universe, aliens, sunflowers or anything beyond human mind that he can think of, he was just silent most of the time, he was also going back and forth to the bathroom and even looked restless when going to his radio show, and it alerted both him and jeno.

when renjun came home after his radio schedule today, he immediately went to their bathroom and slammed the door shut. jeno paused and let go of his controller and looked jaemin in the eye, they both knew something was up with renjun.

jisung was at his and renjun’s room while doing his audio vlive. he really missed the fans that’s why he was always trying his best to talk to them, be it in bubble or v app because he always felt like at some point, he feared that the fans might leave them because of being too inactive in this industry and that’s the last thing he wanted.he love them so much that inspiring and performing in front of them would be his one and only purpose in life.

he honestly thought that everything’s gonna be back to normal again after the company announced the news, but he didn’t know that they still had to wait for that to happen or they might not be able to because mark and haechan might focus in 127 and super m activities first than to their unit.

so, the probability of them being together as a 7 was really too impossible for now and it was kinda upsetting but he didn’t have a choice but just to accept it. droplet of tears leaked out of his eyes after he said goodbye to his dearest czennies.

he knew that he was being a baby right now and he really needs to fight this frustrating feeling out of his chest. he shouldn’t be crying most of the time, he will turn into an adult soon, and if the fans will see him like this, they will probably think he was weak and burdensome and he didn’t want that to happen.

“crying again?” renjun asked, looking restless because of his frequent abdominal pains and indigestions ever since the end of their promotions happened. the doctor said this was just a temporary stomach ache because of his anxiety and stress episodes nowadays and was advised to take a rest as much as he can or refrain from doing schedules for now, and that wouldn’t work for renjun and the company. so, he just had to live with it until it fades.

“sorry, hyung… i-”

“just let it all out, jisung. i don’t know what to say anymore too, i’m tired of thinking about this. I just want to do what needs to be done.” he lifted a small smile and went back to hug jisung that made the younger cry once more.

“renjun hyung, why do they not see our worth? i mean... we are trying, right? we are giving out our best! look, we even made ourselves sm’s boy group representative! *sniff* is our best not that good enough compared to the other units?” jisung asked while sniffing and renjun’s heart broke at this sight. he actually didn’t know what to answer because he is somehow thinking the same as him right now. renjun just hugged him tighter while patting his back, also close to losing it.

jeno and jaemin was about to open their room when they heard everything and their suspicions were right. they want to help but they don’t know how because honestly speaking, they were also slightly affected by it. as one of the longest trainees, they were kinda used to these things. they knew that they were not the strongest trainees out there and they also fully understood why sm would choose their bets on other members other than their team or specifically just the two of them.

this was why they were both happy and glad that sm decided to debut them even if they were still lacking and they were in no place to complain about anything being fed to them. instead, they should learn to be more thankful and telling this to renjun and jisung would be really cruel, especially to the maknae whom they spent the longest during trainings, they just don’t want him to lose confidence and take this negatively, he’s too precious and young to be hurt.

-

“hi…” 

“eh, chenle? you came?” jeno was clearly shocked by chenle’s sudden appearance. it was no news from the whole nct and their fans that chenle has his own house in korea and he’s only living at the dorms when its comeback season but since they were all considered jobless right now, they were both surprised that he showed up with both snacks on his arms, looking completely gloomy.

“uhh, mom and dad are in china… and i’m alone… so… uhh, i need someone to eat with?” he said, raising both bags filled with snacks in front of their faces.

“c’mere.” jaemin said and immediately engulfed chenle to a hug, he knew that chenle has been so stressed these days too, with his mom and dad always coming back and forth in china because of business and family gatherings which meant he had to be alone most of the time and he’s not the type of kid that wants to be alone, he wants someone to look after him or just be with him, which means them or just jisung.

“where’s jisung and renjun hyung?” 

“Inside their room… we are supposed to barge in but you came.” jaemin replied.

“oh, let’s get going then!” he cheerfully replied but only got cut off by jeno’s arms on his shoulders.

“actually... chenle uhh, both of them are not in good condition right now.” 

“what? what do you mean?!” he shouted a bit louder that made the two elders facepalmed.

“they might hear y-”

“guess what… we already heard you guys, what’s up?” renjun said, looking as uninterested as he can get while still clutching his stomach and a puffy eyed jisung on his side.

they were all huddled up in the living room with pillows and blankets everywhere plus chenle’s snacks across the floor. it was like a typical overnight sleeping session for all of them, except haechan and mark couldn’t really join because they might be sleeping already or still at the practice since their punch promotion already began.

renjun went over to jeno’s side to reach for the chips and opened it. he tried to feign innocence because talking about his worries were his least priorities as of the moment. he just wants to eat and sleep and just get this day over with.

however, luck was not on his side, when jaemin grabbed the chips in front of him and smiled a little, as if urging him to speak his mind.

“fine, i’ll talk, just give me back the chips.” renjun sighed and tried to reach the chips but jaemin just made it farther for him to reach and that gained a frown from the petite boy.

“na jaemin, really?” 

“yes, now speak. besides, eating chips won’t help your upset stomach.”

-

“i am worried, okay?”

“i’m worried we might be... uhh... wiped out from the map?” and everyone, except jisung, scratched their heads looking bewildered from renjun’s words.

“okay, lemme rephrase that, i don’t want y’all look so dumb right now. so, jisung and i, had been getting worried lately about our team… we just thought that maybe the company had zero plans for us as of the moment. i mean, yeah, it was so nice of them to make us as a fixed unit, but i don’t know if they’re really gonna take us seriously? just look at our last promotions this year and i don’t know when will all of us be complete again… i’m just tired you know, all of these possibilities... i just want all of us to be back again as 7... i think it would be really nice for us to dance to chewing gum as 7 again after how many years…” and finally the dam broke, renjun let himself cry freely in jeno and jisung’s arms.

he was being reminded again of his ment at their concert where he let out all of his uncertainties and worries in front of their fans. it was the most vulnerable time of his life, but he never regretted anything because he wants to be transparent to them, he wants them to know what they are going through because this is where all the trust and support will come.

chenle immediately went to renjun’s and held his hands. he may not as sweet as the other members when it comes to skinships but this is his renjun hyung, his closest gege, his pillar closest to jisung, and he knows he needs this reassurance right now.

renjun sniffed and lifted his head and looked towards jaemin, when it comes to things like this, jaemin is the person he can really lean on to, because he has this soothing, friendly and calming aura that would really make you confide in him. he wants to ask jaemin this question that was clearly bugging him ever since they debuted.

“jaemin, do you think we are not enough?”

“what do you mean?” jaemin looked surprised, he immediately glanced at jeno and chenle, he even tried to look at jisung but he was still looking at the floor. he was surprised by the weight of renjun’s question. it was as if he had been burying this for a long time and now it erupted like a bomb to his ears.

“do you think the company thinks that we are all not enough but we had to debut just because there’s a perfect concept suited for us at that time but now that we are too old for this they are now having a hard time? i know we are not like mark and haechan, who are extremely talented but are we really gonna be like this only? are we not gonna grow just like the other units? i mean… we also deserved it, right? i... i’m sorry… i don’t know what I am saying… nevermind…” he covered his face with his hands and continued to cry again. 

jisung kept on looking at the floor because he didn’t want to see chenle or else he’s gonna break down just like his renjun hyung. but chenle had to, he reached and messed his hair, and when he looked up, he saw chenle smiling as if telling him to share his worries away to him, and jisung knew that was the last straw, the dam broke and he freely let his tears cascade on his cheeks.

“I’m...i’m so sorry... sorry” he said repeatedly and chenle abandoned renjun’s hands and engulfed jisung in a bear hug. “It’s okay, jisung-ah. it’s okay.”

“we completely understood what was in your minds lately. actually, jeno and i had been thinking about it but we were kinda used to it even before we were trainees. i mean we admit we are not those high valued trainees before, we always think that we are just the average guys and we learned to accept it that’s why it only hurts less now.”

“but i still believe that we are here for a reason, we are a fixed unit for a reason…” jaemin continued giving smiles in front of them hoping for them to get his message.

“the company may not see our worth right now but i believe one day they would be, look, our last comeback is indeed a success, and if we keep on working hard, they would slowly realize what we can do in this industry, plus our fans! they are the best and it was them who made this all possible!”

“jaemin’s right, renjun. i know there’s something for us out there, we just have to believe in ourselves and the fans. you said about this on your radio show, right?” he wiped renjun’s tears and pinched both of his cheeks in his hands in which renjun swatted but jeno just laughed after.

“i know and i’m so sorry… i’m the eldest right now but i made you all disappointed. i let myself be in the negative, which is really not so me.”

“finally, someone had to admit.”

“SHUT UP, CHENLE! i know and i’m sorry for overthinking...” renjun pouted after saying the last words into a whisper.

“okay, stop it!! i think someone also needs to say something... any thoughts, jisungie?” jaemin asked, he was actually looking forward to the maknae’s worries. he knew he lacked a parental figure to him these days and he thinks that this is the perfect time.

“i’m so sorry hyungs. i am just the same as renjun hyung. we had been talking about this ever since our last promotions ended. like, when we received the news, i always tell renjun hyung that i will work harder this time, and we agreed to do it together, but it seems like time was not on our side and this promotion only left a bittersweet feeling to me.i want to be greedy just this once because i am thankful that the fans supported us all the way. i just want them to feel how sincere i am, our team, to our passion.”

“this is why you went to bubble and v-app lately and threw some cheesy stuff for the fans huh” chenle laughed and squeezed jisung’s hand which earned a small smile from the latter.

“yeah... i just don’t want them to forget us…”

“awww… our jisungie’s afraid that czennies would forget us?” jaemin cooed and went to hug jisung from the back while nuzzling his cheeks at the tall maknae’s shoulder.

“ahhhh... hyung!! i can’t breathe!” 

“how about you, chenle? do you wanna share something?” jeno asked.

“not really a big deal, i just don’t want to be alone sometimes but it’s really impossible because you guys know my parents and relatives… and i just read something online but yeah it was just nothing…”

“oh my god, chenle! just spill!” renjun urged then facepalmed after, slightly annoyed with the way chenle sugarcoats things, he really doesn’t know how to lie in front of him, he just couldn’t.

“fine! just a mistreatment and some issues going around in twitter... i mean, we heard about it a lot of times, but sometimes i just can’t help thinking about it again especially when i’m alone…and don’t urge me to cry because i’m not gonna cry, thank you :)” chenle finished with his signature smile and jaemin couldn’t help but to coo for the second time because this is chenle, their maknae with a strong and bright personality.

“chenle... come here, come here... oguoguogu so cute!!!” (just refer to their nct daily content, stay under the blanket)

“hyung... noooooo!!!” chenle tried to get away from his jaemin hyung but the latter was so fast he had no time to react and the next thing he knew, he was caged to the older man’s arms and being peppered with tight hugs and a nuzzling cheek.

-

“woah, i missed this!” jeno sighed and put his arms on jaemin and renjun’s shoulders as they finished their talk/ogling with some sci-fi movie. they all nodded and even scooted closer to each other while eating chenle’s chips and ramen.

“i just wish mark and haechan hyung are here with us though... we always do this when one of us is a bit troubled.” 

“yeah... i miss them too.” jisung pouted but his eyes were still trained to the tv screen, immersed with the movie.

suddenly, they heard a rustling sound at the door with shoes thrown over but no one dared to get up and check who it was. maybe, it was just their manager who needs to go to the bathroom because the nature calls him to do so.

besides, they were too lazy to get up from cuddling one another. jisung was about to reach for another bag of chips when he spotted on his peripheral, two people standing on his left, he looked up and saw the two missing puzzle pieces of the group.

“OKAY, SO WHO TOLD YOU GUYS TO DO LATE NIGHT TALK TALK SESSIONS WITHOUT US HUH?!?!?!?!!?”

“MARK HYUNG!!!!!”

“HAECHAN!!!!!”

**Author's Note:**

> i failed lol sorry


End file.
